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[25 Oct 2006|11:57am]

[ mood | contemplative ]

I've been silent here a bit too long, I fear.

I've got a question, though. I can see my collarbone fairly easily, and my ribs when I breathe in, but my hips refuse to lessen. They're MASSIVE.

Tips? Tricks? ANYTHING?

be brave

[28 Aug 2005|05:42pm]

so i sit in my basement smokin a cigerette, and am so proud of myself.. i havent snuck food off of my plate since last summer so i figured it wud be hard, but since i have my lil bro there to distract my parents with his whining, they dont notice me slipping my food into my napkin and then throwing my napkin away!! im so happy.. i had about 2 pieces of meat, and sum rice. plus i still wanna throw my food up!! im getting back on track, go me!! lmfao, leave me sum comments.. i'd also love to make new friends!! i need a support system and i'd love to support someone else!!
be brave

[27 Aug 2005|06:25pm]

soo i havent been on lj in a looong time.. i figured i'd repost everything

name: Stephanie
cw: 114

since my fatass parents have been on diets, i've been eating better, heathier. woohoo, not. today for breakfast i had a quaker breakfast bar. for lunch i had 2 breakfast bars, which i threw up. and for dinner i had sushi. i have to go back to going on this lj because i've been straying. i've been mia since i was 7 or 8 years old. i then was on and off again ana since i was 13. so ive had my ed for 9 years. i smoke cigerettes, yea i kno there bad for me, i need to quit.. anybody else who wants to help me get back with getting back on track? oh and i love to make new friends!

be brave

[20 Dec 2004|08:06pm]

so i've been sick for a little while.. plus i have another livejournal .. one to use as my "MASK" as my shrink puts it. i dont let ppl in.. its a front... a mask.. i have my sheild up.. w/e.. she fuckin did not help me today. idk she got me thinking which triggered everything.

ok so im re-doing this..
im also just reposting this on all my ed communities im in.. i think its called x-posting but im not sure..
Age: 16
Height: 5’4 and 3 quarters
CW: 119
HW: 152
LW: 100
STGW: 110
LTGW: 90->100
E.D. type: Ana/Mia
Have you been diagnosed/do you self-diagnose? I was recently diagnosed with both anorexia and bulimia. I have been bulimic since i was 7.. do the math (i've been mia for 9 years).. and i've been ana since i was 12.. thats 4 years. yeah..

i want to buy those pills.. i forget what they r called.. but w/e i just feel so depressed. i need help.. anybody want to help me... leave comments..
i love comments.. yea w/e.. fuck it.. btw(by the way) LOVE FUCKIN SUCKSSSSS!!!!!!!!
be brave

calcium confusion! [03 Dec 2004|11:02pm]


there's scientific evidence that at least 3 servings of dairy in a reduced-calorie diet burns more fat...it's in those ads for milk!

what kind of milk is better for fat burning? SKIM MILK or SOY MILK!?


i've always wondered....i have both!

be brave

New Month [01 Nov 2004|08:12am]

[ mood | determined ]

This is x-posted in all my groups and my journal….because it’s part of everything to do so.

It’s a new month…new goals. :-P

I’m going to write a little about my history, so it all goes together very nicely.. Hopefully.

I’m Nina and 27 years old. I was raised COE. I used to have eating contests with my very overweight father. I would actually win a lot.

When I turned 20, I had my first daughter. After I had her, I was 214 pounds. I’m 4’11. I maintained that weight, because when you’re a single mother who never leaves the house, you don’t care/know how fat you are. That all changed at her first birthday party. Someone had video taped that party. I was wearing a Piglet shirt from Winnie the Pooh. Someone should have told me! When I watched that party tape I didn’t recognize myself at all! I saw myself for what I truly was, fat. Very fat, and very ugly. It happened one day. I had tried to purge when I was 16 and only did it once. This day, though, it was like a lightning bolt popped through my window and hit me and made me mia. I began purging EVERYTHING… I would even down glasses of water IN THE BATHROOM and purge those. I would make my daughter food and eat her left-overs (of tv dinners) and purge that while she banged on the bathroom door.

About a month after that lightning bold, another found it’s way to me. I stopped eating. Yes, completely. I carried a zip-lock baggie of Crystal Lite powder mix and a 1 liter bottle of water. I would re-fill the water bottle countless times a day and sprinkle the powder in it for flavor. I have pictures of family functions with this bottle sitting on the table. It says “Aquafina” but it’s a pink liquid. Anyway… I also bought Diet Fuel with ephedrine then. I took the full 9 pills a day maximum on the label. The not eating combined with the diet pills had me not sleeping as well. I was not exercising (yet), I was not obsessed with the scale (yet), that’s just the way it was. That’s when I discovered yahoo groups.

I joined a few groups and found out about Something Fishy. It had chats, and the groups had members with e-mails. I finally got up the nerve to introduce myself. I was purging, not eating, and not sleeping. I figured I fit with these people. They were doing the same things… Not true, they weren’t like me. They were BETTER THEN ME… they were in therapy. Suddenly I was convinced I was f*cked up completely. I did find the pro groups later… and I’m trying to become a little less long-winded lol

I weighed myself at one time during this time and was 106. I dropped from there, but like I said, I wasn’t obsessed with the scale yet… and I don’t know how much I weighed.

I met my now hubby then and got pregnant. Gained weight. After the baby I lost weight by obsessively working out and eating a protein bar broken into bits in a baggie during the day. Got pregnant again and had the baby this April.

So, my stats are now.

Age: 27
Weight. 139
STGW. 120’s
LTGW. Unknown

November goals.

Workout more. Eat less. HARDCORE RESTRICTION. It’s time again… Take yahoo groups off digest and post more (off digest this morning and waiting to post starting w/this one) Post in journal at least 5 days a week.

be brave

new girl [21 Sep 2004|10:00pm]

Hello everyone, i'm new here, i just joined. I joined because i've decided i wanted to start fasting and i wanting so support because i could never tell any of my friends, they would shit the bed. Anyways i don't think i will be able to jsut stop completely because i havent full on fasted before so i am going to try and taper off until i can go with out eating for days. I am also taking there diet pills, well idont know if thats exactly what they are, they are called "weight sharp" CVS brand haha. They are supposed to help you when you are dieting. Any comments, suggestions, friends? I really need the support, i dont think i can do it alone.
2 comment| be brave

perfection... [18 Sep 2004|03:18pm]



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